Moleskine Blogbook - A modern gent and his trials

The Return to Form Black Magick Party

2011-02-22T21:31:00.013Z

A Pop Levi reference to open, what more could you wish for?

For those who aren't aware of him by the way, he's great fun: see? and lovely to boot (he once invited me round for breakfast, and to egg his manager's car. Alas, a tip to California for such an adventure was unlikely at best).

But in all seriousness I thought it was high time I posted something on here.

So I'm still working, in several ways. Both in gainful employment, and in my attempts to gain said employment in London. Admittedly this is a fairly new venture, and some of you won't be aware of these attempts, but it's one of my current priorities. This particular aim has lead to some interesting conversations: I've been asked why I'd want to live in London, but frankly I think this is a strange question. It's the capital of our country, one of the busiest cities in the world, and there's nothing you can't do, see, hear, get or find in London. It's like a hub for the entire world. I've never quite understood people who want to be away from the metrop'. If you're of an older persuasion, and are of a more settled disposition then I suppose I could see why London wouldn't appeal to you, but frankly, anyone below the age of 40-ish who dislikes being amongst the buzz and the lights astounds me.

Different strokes for different folks one supposes...

What else? Winter: I've never had a problem with winter. I have a substantial collection of coats, and frankly, in summer, I can hardly wear suits and whatnot. However I would prefer this darn season to be over. Whereas up until this point in life I've never had what one would call anything of a commitment which I must keep. School? Not a problem, I'll just get on with it. University? Lecture at 11? Get up eventually and drink tea before considering going in etc.

However, the introduction of a job into my otherwise blissful routine has forced my hand (and sleeping pattern) and I must rise at around 7 every day. While many of you may think this selfish of me to complain; many of you have long held down real jobs, and some of you hold down real jobs which mean you rise before the ungodly hour of 6 every day. Myself, I was unaware there was a 6am except when you enter it form the other side. Either way, rising on a morning when darkness still reigns outside is nothing short of horrendous, and that my life has been improved by the fact that I can now leave work while it is light (without being dismissed for not adhering to the laws of the land of E.On) makes me feel that my life may be in dire need of improvement because it is currently lacking anything by way of excitement. Literally, this is the pinnacle of my existence of late. Maybe I should develop a drug habit, just to liven things up a little...

Some housekeeping:

I've moved house.

Other things: I appear to be going on a walking holiday in Snowdonia with my colleague/mate and boss. I'm not sure how I ended up becoming my father, but apparently it was always going to take hold I suppose. I swear at the age of 21 people should be going on holiday to Spanish speaking islands and drinking shots off their friends' genitals and getting stabbed. Admittedly I seem to have no idea what people my age do, but if the media is correct, then this is exactly what they do.

I'm not sure what this post was about. I think it was an update on my life, but then again it may have just been a collection of paragraphs of me moaning and worrying.

Then again, looking back, this appears to be the main focus of this blog.

I promise to write more often from now on. It's not as if I'm busy these days really is it? Maybe I should address that.

Anywho, it's been nothing short of wonderful/cathartic/a good waste of some time this evening while the alpha males are at a sporting event.

If you're reading and we haven't spoken of late, do give me a shout. I'd be interested to know what you're doing, or at least feign interest in such a thing. I also take requests for anything you'd like me to whine about.

Until next time; keep watching the skies.

Play us out Ladytron (Pop Levi's old band): good night.

I make a poor correspondent. Telegrams would be so much more effective on me.

2010-11-02T22:26:00.002Z

Evening all.

Sorry. Honest. But all will be revealed in due time. There's another project in the pipeline which I'm all excited about (with good reason) and that may take up my time I would otherwise be not devoting to this.

But in all seriousness I'm part of something new, bigger and all together more professional at the moment (not my job no, that's not even an exciting thing to tell you). I intend to start doing this again, but I will also be whoring out this other project like nobody's business.

I hope you can all forgive me for now and enjoy the coming fun.

Hope to see you all indulging my new habit.

The adventures of my idiot friends!

2010-08-15T15:38:00.001+01:00

I received a telegram this morning containing the most wonderful tale, which I felt I must share with you all...

Here follows the tale of Captain Haddock and The Sirens.

"The most peculiar set of events has just befallen me and I am in a semi form of shock! The story starts in a most ordinary manner when I was strolling through the Norwich Mall after a pleasant meander! As sauntered through the mall a sales lady walked up to me and asked for a moment of my time . . . little did I know that she was springing the trap. So not wanted to be a prat I obliged by walking over to her stall. She asked me to put my hands in a dish and started washing my hands with this crystal stuff. Then she dry s them and gives the jargon on their 'extraordinary' properties. Of course I'm half dazed . . . like a shy wilder beast being caught off guard by a Lioness. Then she says if I have a girlfriend and again not too look a prat in front of this pretty lady I say I have . . she's called Grace (please don't ask how this happened because I really don't know!) Anyway the sales lady washes my hands and pulls out this fancy nail kit gizmo. She proceeds to polish my nails whilst we small talk. "What do you do for a living?" Again the I make it up not to look a prat, "Oh, I'm a writer!" "interesting" she says, "what do you write about?" and I reply "oh only History". The young lady (probably 25!) smiles and ask's me what my age is . . . "oh 23!" and then "what does your girlfriend do?" and I reply "oh she's in marketing". Again I'm hopelessly lost and putty in her hand as the lies flow. As she finishes polishing my nails (which now look like the manicured nails of a Turkish Bagshandi [Hooker in English!]) she asks me how long I've been with my girlfriend and do we live together, "oh around six months and yes we live together!" Again it feels like I've been taken over by a alter ego. She reply s to that "oh its still fresh! How lovely!"

To cut a long story short I end up buying some hand-cream that I will never intend to use (because I'm not a bloody pansy) and a snazzy nail polishing set. And no I'm not telling you the price I'm too ashamed of myself. Anyway this sales lady had such a memorizing effect that I walked off feeling as happy as a fox whose graduated from the University of Foxing-ton with a Masters in Cunning. The outrageous thing is that I feel happy because the lady wishes me good luck in a career that I don't have and hopes the girlfriend who doesn't exist is pleased with her little surprise!

I'm sort of in a state of shock! I thought I was good at shouting Bolshevik abuse at Capitalist pigs. But this women was good she made me make up a fake life so I bought her items. The worst thing is never did I feel angry at her for being a Capitalist Hoar. It felt perfectly natural!

(I was going to make this into one of those morsel's people say on facebook you know like "Oh pygmy, the vampire pain inside my heart is twisted into a gazillion pieces . . . I long for thy fangs to bite into my tender bossom of fleshy happiness!" but the ruddy thing would not fit . . . apparently you can only put 427 words up which is crap because one should put a whole 2000 word story up if one wants to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)"

Just a quickie if you don't mind?

2010-07-25T19:34:00.002+01:00

"My life is changing in so many ways..." - Neil Young, A Man Needs a Maid.

So this is more of an update than anything else really. A lot's been going on and I haven't had a chance to write for a while.

Where to start? Ok, well university ended, and for better or for worse, I had to leave Cambridge and return to Ashby. Many a melancholy day was suffered.

Had Ben's birthday which was a riotous storm of incredible consumption and decadence (I believe this is a worthwhile description and believe he'd approve. Maybe even gift it the Charles Atlas Seal of Approval. Who knows?).

Job hunting came and went as I begin gainful employment tomorrow morning. I have a spiffing new black suit with which I intend to impress and charm anyone and everyone with. If they so wish it or not. I feel a suit lends me both the impressive and charming air as if by magic.

I spent a week at Benter Parcs. In this week we managed to watch Inception twice, the various trailers 97 times and listen to the soundtrack while performing mundane activities (and shaking martinis) around 438 times. It lent drama and epicicity (oh yes) to every situation. Getting dressed was suddenly a race against time in which consequences would be dire if not completed before the kick. Getting undressed became the same but also sexy. And consequences would never be the same again.

Now I await my father, as I intend to relocate to his abode for a while to get settled in my new job in Nottinghamshire. I'll try and keep you updated as to the whethertoos and whyfors of my life in the near future, however, I fear I shall be busier than I could normally anticipate.

Having run some quick diagnostics, I can confirm the injoke density on this post to be not only the highest yet, but to rival most of the blogs on Myspace. Congratulations me.

I hope this found you all well,

Cheerio!

PS: More detailed and rambling updates in the future, I promise.

Photographic evidence is permissible in court.

2010-06-22T02:08:00.005+01:00

The photos from the super lil road trip we took are here, and there's some pretty ones here including one perfectly illustrating the ability of Johnson and I to talk absolute nonsense. I believe in the final photo we are arguing over coffee. Spectacular aren't we?

Mad propz (that felt awfully wrong) to Flo who is the photographist of these.
Find her and more of her at her Flickr.

The Mavericks are(n't) playing (thankfully).

2010-06-15T20:07:00.003+01:00

With a recent upturn of the weather once more in the, now clement, environs of Cambridge I has doubtless dawned on you all by now that summer is in full swing. Tis a season of BBQs, wearing linen, parties going on longer than is strictly acceptable, not to mention an excuse to drink almost all day, and to indulge in the delights of Pimms and gin and tonics to an excessive degree. It all rather makes me want to play cricket, even though I usually have no care for the darned sport.

Anywho, I thought I might just fill you all in on my life so far, in the thinly veiled hope that someone will find it vaguely entertaining, thus validating my need to have a blog in the first place. However before that, I might suggest that someone buy me this:

I believe the words I'm looking for are "immediately if not sooner".

But obscure, mildly homosexual wishlist aside, what has been "going down"? Well after my final exam, I attended the psychology BBQ with friends, and wandered off into town to get so horrendously trashed I was held up by 3 people at one point I'm sure, while I attempted to get service.

After that it's been balls and parties left and right.

Summer ball was a rather wonderful success, with booze a flowing, and a wonderful equilibrium being attained by all, having to judge alcohol/food intake alongside bumper-cars/mechanical bull riding time. Thankfully messless...

This was followed by some small downtime hanging out with Flo as she visited Cambridge, and chilling before the advent of May Week.

May week, for those not in Cambridge/Oxford to witness it, is the week of all the CU and OU balls, garden parties and larger socials. This equates roughly to a week of open bars and the excuse to dress up.

Cue the Gents' garden party, a day of May Bumps (observed from a pub), the World Cup drinking excuse, The Wyverns' Garden Party (Magdalene College Drinking Society) complete with Jelly Wrestling, the need to get drunk, Brad's BBQ (not a huge event, more sort of... A friend's house warming), then just an evening of watching Trinity Fireworks (which I missed, but drank in honour of) and then a morning of gin fuelled breakfast. Tonight is the John's College May Ball and despite my lack of ticket I anticipate Matt and Ben fulfilling my quota, while I visit Doom HQ.

Where is this all going? Am I just bragging (of my alcoholism) or does it have point?

Well if I'm honest, I'm trying to say a farewell to Cambridge. My current lack of a job has made it that I will find it impossible to continue to live here for now. This saddens me greatly. This has been my home now for three years, and I feel that it should continue for now... Alas, I am, as of yet, unable to source work. C'est la vie.

I hope only that I can return soon enough, and re-indulge in this hedonistic life which university has afforded me. Frankly I've had an excellent three years here, met some wonderful people and can't really face leaving it all. Much disappointment all round but thanks to you all for the time.

I feel proud to have said goodbye to the ol' place in this fashion.

Cheers Cambridge,

Elliot.

Wikipedia is not only my god, it's also hilarious

2010-05-29T02:36:00.004+01:00

Just a little update today having seen the greatest Wikipedia article of all time about Greg Staples a Sheffield based artist whom Ben (housemate) has had dealings with, and built a website for.

This is the article

Never have I seen a better entry than the line: "Staples best known for his work in the weekly British comic 2000 AD, especially on Judge Dredd. His son, Brian Staples, is known as a fine fellow."

I have never been happier. I can only assume Brian is the author of this particular article...

Next update will tell you about the hilarious man we heard on the way back from the One O'clock Shoppe.

Stay tuned for that absolute gem.

Road trips and room mates

2010-05-25T23:06:00.003+01:00

Evening all, been a bit of a funny ol' week just gone, but was rather lovely all round!

So there I was at uni, printing some stuff off, chatting to Shane and Tash when I receive one of those mythical, epic Johnson calls.

"Spirrett, what are you doing tonight?"

"Revision and stuff?"

"No, you're getting your sleeping bag, your drink and you're going to get drunk and go on a road trip with me."

"But I have-"

"Do it."

"Ok."

2 hours later on the road, I realised I'm going to have to ring Flo as discuss tomorrow (I'd planned to meet her in London), and it worked out that I probably wasn't going to make it at any decent time... Sad Elliot was sad.

So we went to Kent to pick her up. Eventually.

I have a tip for you dear readers. If you ever go to Kent, and you ever want to find anything other than main roads take a very detailed map. We must've drove every road in Medway before being able to find her house, and we had Ben on Google Maps. It was beyond ridiculous how poorly laid out a town it is.

Anywho, after much more driving (and failing to find a suitable place within the towns to sleep and chill), we decided to try the country. Kent, as well as having inadequate signage, is also something of a stranger to anywhere you can park a car and not be surrounded by scum apparently.

So anyway, after a while driving, we find ourselves on Sheppey, which is kind of shit, but we end up on the coast road, chilling on a little hill, right in front of the beach, drinking and chatting nonsense, eventually watching the sunrise and then hitting bed. Next day we wake up, and it's stupidly hot, so we drive down into Kent again, for food, and after breakfast we wander about a bit, and then head back to Gillingham, and happily convince Flo that she should come to Cambs. It wasn't difficult.

So then Flo came to Cambs and we spent days in the sun reading mildly pornographic material around children and drinking excessively.

Fantastic.

And now Flo is going to move to Cambridge. Whether she likes it or not :D

So that was my week. Hopefully pics to follow soon from Flo.

I have a good feeling about June.

Peon voices say work work

2010-05-13T13:18:00.002+01:00

Hello again you!

Good god it's been a while now hasn't it? I promise you I have an excuse! It's been months of working, reworking, testing, retesting, signing, dining, drinking, winking (it had to rhyme) and an election to satirise (vaguely).

So my dissertation is done and handed in. My other essays (bar a long story) are also done. I have an exam in June. And today the sun shines.

So what first? You don't want to hear about my work, so I won't go into detail. Needless to say, I'm extremely happy and more than a little sad that it's all over. I'm sure you can sympathise!

Election: many of you know I voted Conservative. They won. Get over it. I won't go into my reasons but suffice to say my reasons were good enough. I just hope that if the next four years goes well that people will be able to climb down off their high-horses and say "Yeah, they were the right men and women for the job!", and not just keep the old prejudices.

I had a birthday. That was lovely! Thanks to everyone who sent me messages, sorry I couldn't reply to them all but they were very sweet!

I went punting with my Amy and Ben G, which was nice and between the three of us we managed to get drunk enough that we could still punt, but not talk particularly well. This is deemed a great success in my home country. Of England.

The night was equally spiffy, I would assume.

So all this so far has had something of a theme and leads to a point... I'm getting old(er). Soon enough I'll have to leave uni and enter the real world. It's a terrifying thought, as I'm sure you can appreciate if you're in a similar situation. Especially considering I may be woefully under-qualified for any job in my chosen industry.

I'm worried a fair amount, and I don't think unjustifiably. But then I guess most students are in this position. Hell I assume most people looking for work are in this position. Then again not so many of them are attempting to find work in an industry that's just suffered its biggest setbacks for some time... Oh well, we'll see.

Dad asked what my plan B was. And my C and D.

I told him I'd join the Navy. He seemed pleased with that idea. What have I done?

I think I have decided on my summer looks, and I think they mostly contain beige. It's a non-colour to most of you, but I've fallen slightly in love with the idea of beige and everything it can offer me. Is this possibly the most ridiculous statement I've made? No. But it's up there. I stand by it nonetheless. But srsly, I've got my chinos and my deck shoes, I'm totally ready for summer. If only my Ray Bans weren't in Manchester :|

I feel like this is something of a non-post, but it was an attempt to get me back into the swing of things I guess. Not that people care I'm sure!

Oh well!

Until next time (where I promise to offer you ramblings and musings, both of which will be bollocks), have a wonderful day!

Oh, and this: how excited am I? Very. Why? I get to see Flo again soon. This makes my life! ^-^

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers star in

2010-03-15T05:06:00.001Z

YES!

Finally wore my top hat.

And went as far as my own doorstep. Disaster.

But soon...

2010-03-13T04:37:00.003Z

Hello there you,

Sorry it's been a while. I've been super busy and rather unable to think of anything I thought worthwhile to talk about. But then again I've never yet found anything worthwhile so that shouldn't stop me.

So what's going on? Well mostly I've been writing my dissertation and a lovely essay about the nature of diagnosing autism, which has been interesting to a point. Mostly though I've been attempting to change myself. I started running. I didn't get very far. I did a few days, and I failed to keep going as per everything thus far in my life. It worries me that I get into something in a short term fashion, and get bored of it easily. Does this transfer to more serious matters? Will I ever find a job where I'll stay interested long enough to make a career? Will I marry only to find I am uninterested? Will my children bore me to tears with absolute nonsense about their day at school and the latest incarnation of the pokémon card (more than likely this will happen, children bore everyone with this nonsense it would seem. I know, I was a children once!).

But where was I? Ah yes, changing myself... I took a few steps; I rewrote my CV, I applied for a MENSA home testing kit, I agreed to a new regimen of working and many other promises. I failed thus far to achieve anything of note. In 20 years.

I have watched the entirety of The Thick of It, and In The Loop though. That's not a notable claim, but it is an amusing situational comedy anyway.

I got my top-hat for Christmas. I've yet to find a suitable occasion, outfit or weather system for it. Galling.

I've lost weight, yet failed to consolidate on this position and continue to lose weight.

I've given up smoking. So much. A day. Fuck that.

I've argued with people I would otherwise get on with. I've retreated into my room. I've eaten ready meals (something I am opposed to wholeheartedly). I have become a social pariah.

I hate this bollocking university.

Still. It'll all be over soon.

I'm sorry that this wasn't an update more than a moan, but frankly I'm not in a hugely great mood of late.

I just sneezed all over my screen. I have no intention of cleaning it, and I didn't even derive pleasure from the sneeze, something I normally do.

Tomorrow I'm going to get up, drink tea, read the economist, play golf and do some work. Hopefully I can think of something more interesting to write and something more light-hearted to say to you.

If you're reading this, I probably love you. If you're not, you won't know that I have called you a buffoon and an imbecile and that I probably don't love you.

Apologies again for the rant.

Retraction

2010-02-23T20:42:00.002Z

Dear Mendeley,

I cannot create computer programmes. I cannot write code.

I apologise for my rage.

Thank you for your support.

Yours,

Elliot

Mendeley Desktop

2010-02-21T16:02:00.001Z

Dear Mendeley.
Your programme Mendeley Desktop has been nothing short of useful while it has worked. But therein lies the problem. It does not work. It is a pile of horseshit masquerading as a programme.
I wish to read my PDFs. I wish to read a specific one so that I may write my dissertation and get a degree.Your pile of computing bollocks will not, however, allow this. Any sub-par grades received from here on out are to be blamed entirely upon your company. I shall be billing you for a wasted year at university if this occurs.
Kindly fuck right off, and take your shoddy bucket of blood-tainted-piss you have marketed as a computerised academic tool with you.
Sincerely yours,
Elliot Spirrett

PS: Adobe, you are as much to blame for the invention of this stain on the face of technology which you call the PDF format.

Oh and Haddock, I know you're reading this. Stop being a cunt.

Broken Britain? Pause for thought before putting us down please.

2010-02-08T00:14:00.004Z

For those of you that have read my blog before and have been surprised (and amazed) with the amount of inane toss I've been able to produce (or seemingly pull from thin air), here's a slight change...

Having just read an interesting article in the Economist, I wanted to take a different and uplifting track with this post, so here it is.

British police have just reported the lowest number of murders in 19 years.

Murders of children has fallen more than two-thirds since the 1970s.

Britain used to have the 3rd highest child murder rate in the rich world, now we are 17th.

Burglaries and car theft are roughly half as common as they were 15 years ago, and the onset of recession has not reversed this downward trend either.

After a long period of increase, there is evidence to say Britons are drinking less alcohol.

Drug consumption is dropping overall (though admittedly, some drugs including cocaine are becoming more popular).

Smoking rates are among the lowest in Europe, lower than France, Germany and the OECD average.

A girl between 15-19 is now half as likely to have a child as her grandmother was at that age, though some of you may find abortion rates which have risen by 31.4 per hundred between 1969-2007.

Though her partner will unlikely marry her or stick with her than men in previous generations, the same girl is a lot less likely to be beaten by him.

Finally, victims of violent crime both with and without injury have fallen greatly since 1995.

Sorry for the list of statistics that may seem boring to some, but frankly, I find this all rather heartening.

Enjoy this knowledge when talking to Americans.

Ta ta!

Oh and:

Goodnight Sweet Prince!

Ian Carmichael, the original Bertie Wooster died this week.

Gents the world over in mourning.

Not a real post obviously

2010-01-27T21:34:00.001Z

But I'd just like to whinge about how terrible the Jack Wills party was. Full of kids, no real drink, the bands were ok but no one was watching them, and frankly this season isn't that great a range. Especially those godawful £90 shorts in pastel pink.

I may now go cry. Have to find a new favourite.

eBay does terrible things to my sleep pattern and my wallet...

2009-12-18T04:04:00.002Z

I may have just *slightly* fallen in love with a pair of boots on eBay:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/MENS-VINTAGE-RIDING-BOOTS-LEATHER-SIZE-9-U-K_W0QQitemZ150397165680QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Sporting_Goods_Athletic_Shoes_ET?hash=item23045ea070#ht_511wt_1165

Please someone remove some of my toes? I could fit a size 9!

Wait a minute... Update!

12 inches of footwear roughly translates to a size 11.5/12!

*GASP*

Do... Want...

Pointless post is pointless.

On the gramophone.

2009-12-16T11:51:00.011Z

,So seeing as I said I'd do it, and people (it turns out) actually bother to read what can only be described as the musings of the most underinformed person on the internet not commenting on Youtube videos, here is my thoughts on actual music in 2009.

First off, I'll say that I've not really been keeping up-to-date with music, so I'll just spout about the things I have heard or that my friends have showed me, and give you some of my favourites.

How about I do 5 albums and 5 songs? Seem reasonable? I don't know who that question is addressed to.

Ok so first off, my favourite 5 albums released in 2009.

In no particular order:

1. Regina Spektor - Far

What can I say about this? It was something of a soundtrack to my summer. It has been one of the most pleasant and wonderful things I have heard in a while. The songs span a fair distance in disparity, ranging from the upbeat pop-y-er (why does that non-word look like the name of a Welsh town) numbers such as The Calculation and Dance Anthem of the 80's, to the whispered lovelyness of Blue Lips and Genius Next Door and the to the more soulful Human of the Year and One More Time With Feeling.

Regina is one of those artists who is constantly there on the fringe, with a hardcore of fans, making quality album after quality album. You cannot fault her infectious enthusiasm which is apparent in all her songs, it adds a real energy, even to the more downbeat numbers. The songs all speak of love, passion and obscure stories. Her voice is a force alone, and the piano can only be described as huge in its effect. The two come together to give the whole album a theatrical feel without being cheesy, not an easy feat in my mind...

I'd give this album a solid 5/5, because quite honestly I can listen to it any time and feel it has something to offer.

2. Frank Turner - Poetry Of The Deed

I must be honest, I am a little biased towards (read "gay for") Frank Turner, so I fully expected to love this album off the bat, but I'll be honest, on the first few listen, I wasn't blown away, or even amused or mildly aroused as I normally am by Frank Turner, so I decided to ignore it as the "difficult third album". Then the time came to go see him live, and the performance DID blow me away. I mean it was brilliant. I couldn't help but love everything he played, so when I got home and had another listen, it turned out I did like this album. The thing is, Frank's taken a slightly different turn with this one, gone a bit more towards his punky roots once more, and brought some electricity and interesting new ideas into the proceedings. All-in-all it's not as good as his previous work, but you can't fault the fact that he's actually branched out. I think in that respect I like it more. Nothing irritates me more than a band who go stale...

Some of the highlights of the album include Sons of Liberty, a nod, it would appear, to bands like Flogging Molly, The Pogues and the Real McKenzies, and Dan's Song, a feel good summery tune about getting the most out of life. A solid 4/5!

3. Cougar - Patriot

Chances are you'll never hear of Wisconsin 5 piece Cougar. Not for any other reason than they're a fairly experimental, instrumental, post-rock band (you may however know their drummer's other project, the Youngblood Brass Band). This is Cougar's second album, and a fantastic follow-up to 2007's Law. Where Law was a slow-burner, brimming with sounds and ambience, Patriot is a small explosion, breaking out with heavy guitars, and a more full, developed and play-me-loud feel to it. The album opens with a fantastic foot-stomper and continues in a similar vein without becoming tiresome. Bridges and breaks split each song nicely, with inventive riffs and peaks, to the accompaniment of a sharp backing from D. H. Skogen (of Youngblood).

This one is a straight 5/5, it's experimental, it's exciting, it's new, and that pretentious part of my brain which I like to feed, loves being a fan of obscure bands (you know you do too!)

I know that instrumental stuff isn't to everyone's taste, but give this a whirl, you may be pleasantly surprised.

4. Adam Gnade - The Wild Homesick

Gnade's EP (ok not an album, I know) The Wild Homesick is rare enough that I couldn't even find a proper picture of it (look, that's Gande himself holding it), but it's something I got on recommendation earlier this year from a good friend of mine. If I'm honest, there's a large percentage of you that won't like it. It's obscure, it's somewhat long winded if you're not expecting it. Gnade is a singer, but from most of his work you wouldn't know it. Gnade's music is something akin to storytelling, with a guitar. He spins tales of his friends, his family, his life, weather, you name it. It sounds terrible, but somehow it's mostly just intriguing and a little stirring. Gnade's lyrics concerned with the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are thought provoking, not in any political sense, but in sense of it showing the effect on the people back home and the families of those out there fighting.

The first three tracks portray scenes of long awaited social occasions, storms and the coming together of friends and strangers, and all through you just want to stand on a porch in the warm dark, a beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and your friends surrounding you.

The EP rounds off with a song by Gnade, a short, sharp, lo-fi, distored number, called I Will Put Away My Pain And Be A Beacon. It's an interesting change of pace, and brings the album to a nice ringing close.

This is another 4/5, which would've scored higher if it was longer, but the fact is this is an EP so I can hardly complain.

5. Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More

I don't have much to write about this. I discovered it this morning. I've not turned it off since. This album is just excellent. It makes me think of gospel with a bit of a more folky feel to it. Banjos, violins, and choruses of almost discordant voices, sound so much like these boys traipsed in from the northern moors, or maybe even further, but the boys hail straight from our capital itself, and take the country from without it seems.

The thing about this album is the soul in the whole affair. The voices, gravelly and full of emotion, backed up by string and wind make for quite a mixture.

Without a doubt, tracks Little Lion Man, Awake My Soul and Winter Winds have made this album for me. For the reason that in a matter of hours it has become one of my albums of the year and within a minute of Little Lion Man I was hooked on these boys, I can't give this anything other than 5/5. A brilliant album and one which most can enjoy!

So go forth, invest in these albums, treat your friends and family over Christmas, "treat your wife, treat someone else's wife", whatever!

And if anyone has another opinion then feel free to share it in the comments section.

Except you Haddock. You're banned from commenting on my blog now, on the basis that you're not even difficult to spot.

Eejit.

The Numbers Game

2009-12-15T05:55:00.002Z

Just a quick post to say that according to Statcounter (lovely people!), I get about 20-30 visitors a day, and around 120 page loads.

Exciting stuff.

So if you do bother to read this and you're not just someone trolling (which isn't really annoying, more just bizarre), drop a comment here.

Oh and if you would be a darling and click some of the adds on the right, I'll get paid. Which is crazy.

Cheers!

Music Makes You Lose Your Otherwise Impecable Composure.

2009-12-12T14:37:00.006Z

What ho all!

So over the last few days I've had something of an educational and personal revelation. I think I finally know how to do this uni thing now. How annoying is it that it's taken me 2 and 1/3 years to figure it all out?

The answer you're looking for, is very.

Anywho, you're not here to read about my educational musing and movings. You're clearly here to hear about some nonsensical and altogether irrelevant clap-trap!

Instead we're going to talk music. For no other reason than it's something I've not yet touched on/up in this train-of-thought-made-visible that I somewhat lamely call a blog.

So the year's coming to an end, and I think it's probably a good idea to write a little about the music of 2009, what I think of it, and where I stand, as well as some recommendations (for those who care).

First off though, I must tell you that I've rediscovered Nirvana. What on earth made me forget them is beyond me and our top scienticians. They really were just brilliant. And I know it seems a bit clichéd but they changed the face of music in a huge way. Right now the sounds of Heart Shaped Box are impressing me greatly, and also making me slightly angry!

The whole thing reminds me of an Alan Partridge scene:

Alan: So who's your favourite singer then?

Ben who works in travel lodge: Oh er... Anything really. Y'know, Frank Sinatra, Kurt Cobain...

Alan: Who's he?

Ben: Nirvana. Blew his head of with a gun.

Alan: W-why?

Ben: He was depressed.

Alan: Why? Were they not very good?

Ben: No, they were great.

Alan: Oh... Someone should've told him!

Memories...

Anyway: Roundup.

A quick Google search of the top selling artists of 2009 reveals... Some stuff. Probably. I don't know. I didn't do it.

Instead I'm just going to make it up based on what I've heard.

Ok so we have:

Lady GaGa (obviously)

Little Boots

La Roux

Florence And The Machine

JLS.

I don't know anyone else. I think it's somewhat obvious that I don't know modern popular music so I'll just quickly run through my thoughts.

Lady GaGa - Grew on me lots and now has my respect.

Little Boots - Forgot to listen to her, but had heard her album was a bit of a let down.

La Roux - Another grower, but I'll be surprised if she lasts. This year might be it. When you have a single that's as big as he first, it'd be difficult.

Florence And The Machine - Not bad really. Nice voice.

JLS - Get the fuck out.

So that's popular music covered.

Next time: REAL MUSIC!

Capital capital old chap(ital) part 2!

2009-12-04T00:48:00.002Z

From here on out, I fully intend to dress Ben and spend more time in the capital. End of.

Also pleasingly I can still read some hiragana!

Yosha!

Capital capital old chap(ital)!

2009-12-03T11:14:00.003Z

Ah, London. You are so wonderfully large, wonderfully busy, wonderfully confusing and wonderfully wonderful.

If anything, all the aforementioned traits compound to make you more wonderful. Maybe that's just me.

So today we head to the Japanese embassy. An excellent chance for me to show off my poor grasp of the Japanese language! Subarashi!

However we will then spend hours wandering the shops and wishing we/I had more money.

I think I may take my camera with me... Depends if rain is forecast. I don't want to take my camera bag (it's very small, and looks ridiculous on my 6' 3" frame), but I don't want to get a wet camera. I can't afford that at all.

Hmm... Tricksy.

Went for my run. Made it 0.5mi before I died. Confusing to me as last time I was going a good 2.5mi with no apparent problems. I blame the cold weather for making my chest feel like it was about to explode... Oh well.

What else? I'm dressed like Johnny Cash. I need to stop doing that maybe, but so help me God, he's a damn good looking man (not really, but sartorial elegance was apparently one of his traits).

On another note, I'm rather pleased to announce that I now have 5 followers. This excites me as I feel like it's not just me that reads this now! However one of the followers - Mole Skinners - I think may have got the wrong idea by the name of my blog. Sure it's nice of them to be here, but I think they may be come disinterested when I fail to post pictures of me killing and then de-coating garden pests.

This right here makes me realise I know nothing of fashion, and without great funding and luck, I never will. This upsets me greatly. I also wish to receive 1/50th of the free shit she gets... It would make me incredibly happy.

I may go wake up Ben now. It's an hour and a half before we must catch the bus and I have to go to the bank. Has anyone seen my wallet?

Motivation

2009-12-02T22:04:00.002Z

I lack it.

As tempting as it is to leave it there for some form of comic effect, I think it's worth going on slightly with this and we'll converse (albeit one sidedly) for a while.

I've done nothing of late. All my excitable, furious, inspiration and motivation. This wouldn't be so much of an issue if it wasn't for the fact that all this has ramifications on others:

The house is a mess.

Lidia is carrying my ass big time.

Declan has done most of the Christmas shopping.

My room is horrendous.

I have no clean clothes.

I barely talk to my friends because I've not bothered to go get my phone sent back.

All of this compounds to make me feel like I'm going to shoot my own face off.

Here's the plan to get me out of this awful slump.

Tomorrow: Get up. Go running. 100 sit-ups. 100 press-ups (*gulp*). Breakfast. Catch up on the day's news and events. Go to uni. Enjoy my seminar if it kills me. Go to London. Meet Flo. Go to the Japanese Embassy. Generally geek about in London until our eyes fall out. Come home. Work somewhat. Sleep.

Friday: Repeat (bar London bits).

Etc.

I feel like this will help me infinitely. That and a normal human sleep pattern.

And a dawn clock.

And a dawn porter. Om nom nom.

Busy Business

2009-11-16T02:20:00.006Z

Yes yes alright class I know I'm late, settle down now!

What? Why am I late? I was busy ok?

Fine! Well basically I've had a shit tonne of essay, volunteer stuff for Linkline, and moving into a new house, not to mention having a social life (on occasion) and general day-to-day living...

But anyway, down to business, take our your copy books, and turn to page 29 in your textbooks: a chapter entitled Fashion.

Yes I realise we were supposed to study this last time, but I never ended up writing it out for you so we're doing it now. Stop interrupting.

First off: my new jacket arrived. And it's delicious. £100's worth of reduced down wonder, and frankly I was at a loss, not knowing what on earth to wear it with. Suddenly: terror. "A waste of money" I heard in a middle aged male voice. "A hundred pound down the drain" I heard in a similar female lilt. "Don't have the bollocks to wear it!" I heard in an almost unmistakeable Essex screech.

Thankfully, I had the world at my fingertips, and they were (mostly) ready to help me. A round of forum questioning and I had answers... And so please turn your attention to figure 1.

Fig 1. Jack Wills Ravensworth Blazer with Black jeans, vintage shirt, PF Flyers and Ray Bans

Alright quiet now at the back, let's move on.

On the next page you will discover that a man can dress like something he has no idea about and still feel confident that he's giving an accurate portrayal of said topic.

I had recently seen (also in Jack Wills - shut up), a tweed jacket, which I had fallen deeply in love with. Deciding I needed one and being short by about £260, I should scout out the charity shops for something similar. No dice. They are certainly an overrated commodity. Luckily, Nottingham is full of vintage shops, and by that I mean there are roughly three. Wild Clothing is one such shop, and I must say, has a rather good selection of tat and trash, most of which I would describe as great! Though you may have to spend a few minutes in there...

Anywho, I managed to locate myself a houndstooth jacket in there for the meagre sum of £15. A bargain say I, especially as it actually fits. Normally if I'm lucky enough to find myself a jacket, it's going to be huge in the chest or stupidly short in the arms. Ridiculous shaped body you see! And so we turn to fig 2.

Fig 2 - Said jacket worn with white plain shirt and Prince Of Wales check trousers.

Things I want:

I have the bowler, but I need a topper.

Tweed trousers. God I want some...

A proper dress shirt. I have a bow-tie and nothing to wear it with.

There's a few other bits but I'm not sure what... I really wish I'd bought one of these things:

http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=17551&storeId=12555&categoryId=138993&parent_category_rn=40350&productId=1305638&langId=-1

Before Topman got their grubby hands on them...

Grrr. (literally)

Anywho, might add some other pictures in time... For now, I merely promise to update more often. Sorry y'all....

Liar, liar pants on fire

2009-09-29T01:46:00.001+01:00

Ok so I lied! I'm blogging because I'm tremendously drunk!

Woo! Judge me and so help me god I'll lick your face!

I may have accidentally lied slightly

2009-09-10T22:15:00.002+01:00

Hello again dearheart,

I have an apology to shamefacedly make. I promised my next post would be a fashion based post but I'm going to nonchalantly discard this idea until next time (which may actually be only tomorrow, or even later on tonight if I get bored enough). Instead chums, I'm going to be answering some enticing and intriguing questions I have recently become aware of. There is an American TV show called Inside The Actors' Studio. This programme is formatted by way of an interview with a specific actor each week. However towards the end of each show, 10 standard questions are asked to the actor. Because these questions are pretty thought inducing and because I like them I'm going to share my answers with the world. Because I know none of you care.

But you may be inspired to play along, eh?

1. What is your favourite word?

As a chap who considers himself as somewhat eloquent, this question poses something of an awful quandary, as I believe almost all words have their place and can be used to wonderful affect in the right circumstances, however if one were forced to narrow one's choice down to a single word, it would have to be correlational. This word holds a rather bizarre sway over me as there's something in this brain which loves a graph. I suppose it's the statistician in me but nonetheless, this particular word is nice because it sounds nice when explaining any linking ideas or data to use the word correlational.

Geeky? Very much so!

2. What is your least favourite word?

In this instance I'd have to refer you to the above answer and answer that as an unashamedly self proclaimed eloquent person, the word that annoys me the most would be any word which is in common misuse or any non-words which people use. The worst offender in my mind being "of". Could of. Should of. Would of. etc. etc. etc.

Have. Not of. Have fits here. Of is not correct at all. It is however intensely annoying.

3. What turns you on [creatively]?

Literature which alludes through metaphors to reality or to other ideas. For example, 1984, certain aspects of Lord Of The Flies, some Dickens to name but a few. In this respect I really should read The Crucible by the sounds of it! I love reading about things in literature which are almost secretly commenting on events or issues through this medium!

4. What turns you off [creatively]?

Pretentious modern art. I know people may hate me for this choice but god knows it annoys me. A urinal? A skull covered in gems? If it hasn't got a damn good message behind it, then it is literally just a toilet and a head dipped in jewelry. And you know what? I could see those for free, or even imagine it! It is not something you've painstakingly slaved over for hours getting everything beautiful and has taken great skill to create like a beautiful painting!

5. What noise do you love?

The sound of a golf ball hitting the bottom of the cup. Which, I hear you think, sounds somewhat ludicrous, but to anyone that plays golf, it is a most satisfying sound. It is one which speaks of triumph and conclusive finality, not to mention one which is genuinely pleasing to the ear without those particular connotations!

6. What noise do you hate?

People slurping their own saliva. Which is obviously not a particularly common noise, but a bothersome one to say the least. One is made to feel quite queasy when one hears it.

7. What is your favourite curse word?

Bollocks. For pure versatility there's nothing finer as displayed in the hit motion picture The 51st State starring Samuel L. Jackson. Oh bollocks. Dogs bollocks. Bollocks to that. Bollocks (as an exclamation of disbelief). Bollocks covers all bases delightfully well. And it rolls so readily off the back of the throat like an offensive cough.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

A fashion reporter or designer. Or even a stylist. I have very little in the way of ability to draw though so one of those is already out the window. I can't afford to dress myself in the way that I'd like and I'm so indecisive I end up usually resorting to jeans/t-shirt combos so that's another. And high fashion scares me slightly. How unfortunate.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Anything particularly monotonous or tedious. Which rules out many professions really. Unless they paid me awfully well I'd want something exciting or something which evolved.

10. Finally, if heaven exists what would you like to hear God say as you got to the pearly gates?

"It was only logical of you not to believe, so go on in, Dawkins is in there too! Don't worry, you won't feel stupid or embarrassed, this is heaven!"

Hope these gave you something of an insight into why I never seem to acheive anything substantial.

Until next time!

Absence makes the heart grow forgetful

2009-09-07T18:30:00.002+01:00

Well well! What have we here? It's a blog I'd forgotten I'd swore to update regularly... How curious!

So where were we when last we left off? Ah that's right I was busy hating myself!

Well then let me fill you in on the details since then:

My laptop died a tremendous death. I cried. I realised my brother had the same laptop sat in a cupboard with a faulty screen. I laughed. I tore my laptop apart. I revelled. I rebuilt his screen. I rejoyced. I was informed his laptop also had died the same way mine had not six months ago. I cried once more.

The upshot is I am now the proud owner of a brand new Dell Inspirion 1545. This makes me hilariously happy as it runs everything very smoothly.

I also managed in the interim to find myself a house (this is another thing I blame my absence on... The lack of laptop and subsequently, internet being the first). This excites me beyond belief as it's rather a lovely house and it's officially ours! I would attach photos but that sounds like far too much hard work so I'll just link you here. Pretty swish eh?

What else? I lost 8lbs last week, almost by accident. This is pleasing though, so I can't complain.

I'm having trouble thinking of anything else worthwhile to tell you so let's get to the meat of it:

From here on the next few posts are going to be "The Fashion Issue". Make of that what you will when you see my particular style, as you may just think I'm a prat. I care not.

I'll see you there. Like shareware.

Good to be back.

How I constantly disappoint myself

2009-08-03T21:54:00.002+01:00

For a number of days now, I have found myself deliriously under stimulated. A contradiction-in-terms you may agree, but one I fully intend to employ for the purposes of this entry.

In short my silent interlocutor (for in my mind this is a conversation that has merely taken a turn for the one-sided as opposed to an originally one-sided exchange, though admittedly the lack of feedback and followers has done little to support my claim) I have found myself with little or nothing to do. Now this offends me in a particularly hurtful way: I find it intellectually insulting that a man of my, not inconsiderable (if I may say so) cranial capacity, and indeed volume, finds himself at a loss for something to do. There is always something which can be achieved. Expanding the mind is one. Contributing to society is another. Making acquaintances is a third. And yet to my mind none of these would do nor seemed fitting enough. And thus with a heavy heart and tread, I stalked the halls of my family home in despair and almost unfettered fury. How could I allow such a mood to take me?

Alas it is entirely myself at whose feet the blame should be lain.

With this in mind I now vow to fill time in which I would complain of boredom or of a lack of entertainment to further myself and to produce a better man as a result. No more shall I throw myself onto the bedspread or the bedspread of even my siblings in a vague attempt to gain attention or to gain pity.

I, Elliot Thomas Luke Spirrett, henceforth vow to combat and defeat boredom in my quest to become a better person, in the eyes of my peers and the rest of society, or die in my endeavour.

Signed,

Elliot Spirrett.

Thank you for witnessing this moment and this rant.

Starting next entry: less ranting, more musings and creative writing, reviews and views, and, importantly, a more learned scribe, at your service.

Until next time, cheers!

2009-08-01T17:28:00.004+01:00

Good afternoon bloggers seasoned and unseasoned alike. Hoping this day finds you well, despite the somewhat awful weather many of you are reporting. I myself rather enjoy a good rainy day, it allows me to sit inside and marvel at the weather, safe in the knowledge that I'm nice and dry. It is days like these where I'm quite sure I should be doing something with myself, mayhap relaxing with an improving book, or expanding my knowledge on subjects of interest such as philosophy, the arts, or how the perform the perfect side-parting without looking too much like a Bavarian fascist.

Instead I witnessed my younger brother complete The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess for a second time, and slept until an unnecessary hour.

One notes that the media circus which is the death or Mr M. Jackson has taken a new turn with The Guardian reporting that Jackson may have died of an anaesthetic overdose, of which he is one of only three people outside of the medical profession apparently. Now it is my opinion that it would be too easy here to make jokes about his addiction to anaesthetics and children etc. etc. however, feel free within the comments section to do so yourself.

I might point out at this interlude between rambles that I don't like celebrity nonsense, and reel in horror and disgust at the fuss that is being made over this particular death. People flying half way across the world to lay flowers at a conference centre is somewhat ridiculous. People claiming to have had their lives personally affected by Jackson, equally so.

Anywhom, rant over, I just felt that my thoughts on the matter needed airing out...

What else?

So my dissertation on the effects of Schizotipy on Executive Functioning looms ever closer, and my own personal research has, thus far, been minimal. I think it's time I started to get stuck in, and that's why as of Monday I shall be entering into a period of working, going to the gym (in preparation for next years rowing which I've foolishly promised to do) and trying to earn some more money, which will go towards furniture next year. Not to mention filling out Student Loan applications and the like. This week promises to be a busy one when mixed with the impending trip to Cambridge, where we intend to view houses. I anticipate your sympathy reader while I sigh in exasperation.

On a lighter note, the FTSE this week closed up high and has recently topped 4'600, perhaps a sign that a bull market is on the way. With investment fund sales on the rise and six-year high in investment ISA sales, is this a sign that we're on our way out of the recession? There are a couple of opposing cases, of which I know little enough about economics to understand so I won't comment on. Instead I'm going to merely remain optimistic!

I'd like to take this opportunity to plug Gordon Brown for a moment or two also. For a man who was dropped into the hot seat at a rather unfortunate time by his predecessor, he's done rather a good job. Left with a both morally and tactically difficult war on his hands and the looming threat of global recession, Gordon Brown has handled both rather stunningly. His cooperation with world politics golden boy Barack Obama has resulted in strong ties to a new USA not being cut, and has only helped his own approval ratings. The measures taken by Brown and Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling have resulted in this country being the first major nation to have made any headway in rising from the fall of the global markets. Frankly I think he's given something of a bad press due to a combination of a less-marketable personality than Blair or Cameron and an unfortunate timescale. Had he been in power when the recession was coming to an end (which fingers crossed he may yet), then I think he'd be more likely seen as a hero, whether he had much of a part in it or not.

Sorry if this post has seemed a little too serious but as a burgeoning blogger I'm struggling for topics and so combed the Guardian for a couple of items to talk about before writing.

Light-hearted service commences soon.

In the mean time if anyone knows where I can get hold of a cheap boating jacket (blazer style) then I'd be glad to know of it.

Cheerio all!

Day The First

2009-07-31T21:32:00.004+01:00

Welcome dear reader to what promises to be the first of (probably not very) many publications on this here internet, of my daily withertos and whyfores, how do you dos and dos and don'ts, and general musings on life as I see it.

Marvel at my uninteresting (yet somehow deemed worth of being written down) adventures!
Gasp at my outspoken opinion on topics I have no real knowledge of!
Wonder at why you're reading even now!
Quandary why I use parenthesis and ellipsis so frequently!

All this and more to come!

So fold back the first page of this handsome leather (read: electricity) bound tome (read: webpage) and fill your head with the twaddle and inane claptrap which fills mine!

Excelsior!